Get the hence Sat... I mean Paris...

Okay blog followers are you ready for this post? It’s going to be a rollercoaster read, so sit down, buckle yourself in and keep your hands and feet in the cart or they might get torn off by an angry Canadian woman.

So Tuesday we slept in a little because I had not been feeling great, we finally got up to… well not sunshine but at least the rain had stopped. We were too late to head to Versailles so once again it goes on the list of sights not seen. Deciding to walk the Champs d’Elysee we set out for the Louvre metro station.  There was a souvenir shop that Lyle wanted to check out that was in our Paris pass book. According to the map (which has proven itself wrong on many occasions) was just across from the Louvre at the next Metro station. So we walk, and we pass the metro… and the address on the next building is 168, we are looking for 99. We stop for our morning crepes and after two more blocks we are only at 154… clearly this is not happening since we are heading the opposite direction of the walk we want to eventually be on, so we give up and turn ourselves around.

 We did make two good finds on our way back to the Louvre, a Paris tea towel (I have collected tea towels from each city we have been in and am planning on using them for a quilt front) and a small silver Eiffel tower charm for my bracelet. Let it be known that buying charms is not overly expensive if you shop anywhere other than Harrods.

We find ourselves back at the Louvre, which we didn’t visit due to the crappy weather on Monday… oh well we had both seen it on prior trips, so not a loss. We walked through the Tuillerie gardens with the Arc de Triomphe in our distant sight. Now there were two more things other than walking that were on our agenda for the day: I wanted to try French macarons and I wanted to see the catacombs (Jason & I tried on our last trip but the line up was too long). We window shopped along the way, looking at items that were far overpriced (1330 euro for a blazer just seems a bit ridiculous) and laughing at some of the French fashion ideas, oh and still hating the smoke. Seriously the French need some serious public health campaigns on the health effects of smoking!

We found some macarons and it was about time for a sugar fix anyway so we stopped and bought a box of 12 mini ones and ate them as we walked. There was two of each flavor: chocolate, coconut, lemon, raspberry, pistachio and caramel. The pistachio was my least favorite though still good and the rest were really awesome! Again a product I recommend finding and trying… my next challenge will be learning how to make them, which could be dangerous!

When we made it back to the beginning of the Champs d’Elysee we headed for the metro to go check out the catacombs.  We exit the metro and begin our search in the poorly signed Paris, took us 5-10 minutes but then we spotted the line up and headed for the end. We reach the end of the line and stand there for about 1.5 seconds before an employee says, “Your too late, you won’t get in.” So I was thoroughly disheartened since the two places I wanted to see didn’t happen.

We headed back to Saint-Michel for dinner since the prices were cheaper there and ended up ordering those crazy meat skewers you saw in Lyle’s last post! I got a mixed meat one and Lyle ordered a mixed seafood one (he is loving the fresh seafood over here) both were very yummy J we had already decided on crepes for dessert later so we skipped that at the restaurant. FYI it takes forever for the French to bring the bill, if you are here be sure to ask for it unless you want to sit in the restaurant for an extra half hour.

Next we headed to our favorite wifi spot to try and get a few things done, it ended up taking me days to finish that blog post because pictures take forever to upload to the blog. By the time we left there we were ready for crepes so we stopped at the local place and then headed home to clean and pack and prepare for our night train.

So we packed, cleaned, blow dried the wet shoes, and tried to be prepared and early as we could be since we did not want a repeat of our previous train experience… oh how I wish it had been that simple!

We got off the metro at Gare (Station) de Lyon and needed to walk to Gare Austerlitz, which should have been a 10 minute walk but took 20 because signs in Paris suck!  Yes the phase I hate Paris has escaped our mouths at many points. Anyhow we made it to the station and the lady who helped us with the missing reservation (we realised that the girl who had made all of our reservations the day before had missed one of us on one leg of the journey so we wanted to be sure we remedied that before one of us got left behind) was really great and we were set to go find our train and wait the hour or so before boarding…

So as we are leaving the ticket area I see the word supprime next to our train info, I don’t recognize it so I ask Lyle if it means on time and he says no it means suspended. I start to freak out, not openly…yet. We walk over to the platforms to see the same thing, there are about 10 rail workers standing there so we go over to ask about our train. The man informs us there has been a problem with the line and that the train has been cancelled. I am furious. So I ask him what we are supposed to do, he tells us we can sleep in the train in the station that night and we will be put on a train the next day. Now remember back to them telling us there was no room on the trains… ya not happy!! Nor am I happy that we have now paid for place to stay which are not sleeping in, that we paid a reservation fee for a night train which is more and now have to sleep on it and then take a different train (from the station we had just walked from). I sit being angry and Lyle goes in to the office where we are directed in order to fix our reservation. The French aren’t overly helpful in my experience nor do lines move quickly… so I sit and watch Lyle move slowly through the line. Eventually he comes back and says we are on an 8:30 train the next morning (funny how there was no room for us the day before) and that we now have to get in the next line to board the train. I have to pee (it’s become a regular thing these days) so I head to the washroom (toilet as they like to call it) only to find out I need 50 cents to use the bathroom. Really the entire city smells like urine… maybe if you didn’t charge people to use the toilet they wouldn’t urinate on EVERYTHING!!!! I head back to Lyle to get some money, fuming about how much I hate the city and how its run. Anyhow business done I get back in line… a few minutes later they start handing out free bottles of water… in Lyle’s words “ Ya that’s gonna make everything better” (insert eye roll with that). The next thing to appear is a large sign indicating that the toilettes will be free for passengers on our train but are closed from midnight to 6am, though apparently there are others somewhere nearby (doesn’t tell us where). The line is moving at a snail’s pace, because one person is trying to check everyone in; this makes Lyle a bit angrier, though he is doing better than me. We finally get past check in and they give us a box of food, which turns out to be orange juice, coffee, biscotti and fruit cocktail…odd!

We found the correct train car and squished ourselves with packs on down the hall to our “sleeper car”. We see on the sign outside the door that we have the middle bunks and are across from each other… very romantic honeymoon set up. I am between a mother and teenage son, Lyle at this point is between 2 empty bunks. If you have never had the luxury of being in one of these cars let me give you some ideas of space available. Lyle would almost be able to lay in the bunk if he was fully stretched out (he’s 5’10”), it is about 30 inches deep and my niece Hailey who is 4 might be able to sit up in it without hitting her head. So now add in a fully grown adult with a sleeping bag and pillow… oh and all your luggage… are you freakin’ kidding me! Ya, that was to be our set up for the night, so excited I was for bedtime.  Before bed I needed one more trip to the loo, this time a nice guy was playing toilet police and so I ask in my rusty French, “the toilet is free for those on the train that doesn’t move?” He giggles and hands me my token and life is well tolerable for a moment.

Back in the bunk we try to arrange ourselves into the most comfortable positions and thanks to my 7$ Air Transat kit I am equipped with a sleep mask, ear plugs and my trusty fleece blanket. Sleeping pill ingested I begin to drift, until we are awaken by our tardy car mates who make quite the ruckus getting into their spaces and then out and then noisily back in. Ok finally settled in I pass out while Lyle is working on his blog, wakeup call is at 6 and I need some rest. I wake up at 3:14 and have to pee really desperately, of course the toilets are closed and I am not sure this is the best time to go exploring on my own. I definitely considered urinating on the tracks… everyone else in Paris seems to.  I eventually fall asleep before waking up again with completely cramped up hips.  The lady below me wakes up at 5:30 and now I am up for good. It takes her 15 minutes to get her son out of bed, all the while I am thinking of how to pass the time until the toilet opens up. I folded my blankets and tried to get everything ready, put my shoes on and finally headed out…

Please keep in mind that I have had to pee desperately for 3 hours now! I get to the toilet and the morning toilet police is a woman giving a man in front of me a hard time because he doesn’t have his paper work, so I run back to the train to get our tickets and documentation of change. The fact that I haven’t wet myself is a miracle, I get back to the toilet police and she tells me I need this date stamped form and I will have to go to the office to get that paperwork. I storm out and in a very raised voice comment on how much I hate Paris and the people, yes I am furious, exhausted and trying not to have an accident. I head back to our car, tell Lyle we are leaving and grab my stuff. Lyle quickly grabs his stuff, asks what’s wrong and we head out as I explain how ridiculous the whole situation is. I have decided that I will either find a toilet on the way out or wait until we get to the next station… Lyle will have none of it! He heads straight for the bathroom and yells at the woman that this is the third time his wife has come to use the toilet… and she quickly hands him a token… all you can do is laugh at the whole situation. Business taken care of we got the heck out of dodge and headed for the next station.

We had to check in there and the lady kindly bumped us to the train that left just after 7, so we had just enough time to grab a quick bite and get on the next train!

I hope this post kept you highly entertained, both Lyle and I had moments of extreme frustration over those few days and even though we had some really great times and good memories in Paris we have decided that it’s probably not a place we would return to. I am grateful for a husband who loves me and puts up with me when I am angry. We have so much fun together and this really is the trip of a lifetime.

Love you all,

H&L